i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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