Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
