I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
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Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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