I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
