ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
