Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
