you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
