it was like eating out sand paper
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
