he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
