Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
