we're blogging at a bar
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
