We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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