she smelled like a LAN party
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
