I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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