i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize