Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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