WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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