I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
