if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
