Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
