Already got asked if we're dating
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
nutella sex= disaster
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
