He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
