Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dick very happy bro
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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