I understand Curling. That high.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
