i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize