everyone is single if you try hard enough
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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