hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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