She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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