Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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