So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
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It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize