i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
