are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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