I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
