Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
