Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
this is an emotional support booty call
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
