watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
