if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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