I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize