Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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