When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize