U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
