Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
