Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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