there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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