I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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