I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize