I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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