He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You smell like stripper and shame
the day after is always just damage control
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
