you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
