Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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