If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
