It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
pray to the hookup gods
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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