dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
