Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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