I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
