i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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