Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
