i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
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I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
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I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.