So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"