called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
