would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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