yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Please don't give away my fajitas
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