My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
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Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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