did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
