I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
