Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
