I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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